counselling_for_sex_issues

What are sex problems?

A problem that stops us from leading a sexually fulfilling life can be classified as a sex problem. This can range from anything like lack of desire to inability to have sex.

Sex is an important part of an intimate relationship and when this does not function well it can leave you feeling frustrated. Having a different sex drive to your partner does not necessarily constitute a sex problem. Nor does going through different phases when you have more sex or less. The absence or fear of sex, or too much of it, can both be indicative of a problem. It can also be a fear of intimacy that you might feel is holding you back.

counselling_sexual_problemsSex Addiction is a type of sex problem. An addiction is a type of activity that is done through compulsive behaviour with negative consequences. Sex addiction can cover a range of activities that are done without regard to cost or the impact on relationships and other parts of your life. These tend to include; wanting frequent sex with your partner, paid sex, viewing pornography, masturbation, chat lines, etc.

A sexual activity has four stages – excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution. Both partners, men and/or women, experience these four stages but they might do so at different times. A difficulty during any of these stages can constitute sex problems. They can occur during foreplay, masturbation or intercourse.

What causes sex problems

Sex problems are caused by various different reasons. For each person this will be a different combination of reasons.

Stress is one of the highest contributors to sexual problems. But it is by no means the only one. There are other contributors like anxiety, depression, low feelings of self-worth, etc.  Broadly speaking there are three different kinds of reasons:

  1. Health Related: Illnesses or conditions like diabetes, disability, heart disease, menopause etc.
  2. Emotional or Psychological: Stress, unresolved grief, depression, unhappy relationships, sex addiction, etc.
  3. Circumstantial: Having a baby, getting a divorce, living or working in an environment of conflict, family problems, financial problems, etc.

A history of abuse of any kind, sexual abuse in particular, can have an effect on the sexual life.

What are the different kind of sexual problems

Some examples of sex problems are:

  • Loss of desire
  • Pain during sex
  • Inability to reach orgasm
  • Erectile dysfunction (impotence)
  • Sex Addiction

How I help you with sex problems

I can help you talk through your sexual problems and to help you understand some of the reasons that may be leading to them. We can work through most of the emotional, psychological or circumstantial factors that may be leading to the sexual problems.

A number of the sexual problems are caused through stress and anxiety and through unprocessed emotions relating to other areas of life. We can work through these to develop coping strategies and understand the reasons leading to this behaviour. We can work cognitively with CBT, but to understand the reasons for your sexual problems we may have to go a little deeper.

You may want to address these problems individually or as a couple. We can talk through this over the phone to understand the best route for you.

Sexual addiction is treated like any other addiction and we look to understand the need that it might be filling for you and I help you develop alternative coping strategies.

 

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