Couple Counselling

Are you struggling with your relationship?

I can help you to reduce arguments and have a healthier relationship.

Hurt feelings, not being understood, feeling unloved or rejected, not being listened to or not feeling valued by your partner can lead to breakdown in communication. Arguments emerge as frustration grows. Emotional and physical intimacy are impacted by the relationship and the joy is lost. This creates unhappiness and sadness in the relationship. You start feeling isolated and alone.

Through counselling, I help my couple clients improve communication and find togetherness again.

This happens through ownership of feelings and expression of needs in a healthy manner. Creating healthy and good boundaries manages expectation and makes the relationship function better. We are not objective to own life. By partnering with me, you invite a third party objective view. And I have no vested interest in your relationship other than helping you have a better one.

My training and experience means I can help you break unhealthy patterns and improve communication.

Argument cycles can be broken with arguments actually being resolved rather than following you to the next argument. Counselling can improve the quality of your relationship and your lives. And I can help you with that.

How does couple counselling work

Cross Cultural Couple CounsellingI work with you to understand your background and the argument that you are having. Or the thing that makes you unhappy. Often the past has a way of repeating itself if we are not careful.

I try and separate the content from the process. What that means is that you might be arguing about the content, but the argument really might be about the unfairness you both feel.

How you argue can also change the direction, speed and intensity of the argument. When other arguments are dragged into the present one and you forget to be kind to one another, the argument goes south. And it intensifies quite rapidly. On the other hand, when you dont drag other arguments into the present one and remember to not forget the love you share, the argument goes north and reduces in intensity. If might also get resolved.

I help you understand the root cause, the patterns and the dynamics. Sometimes, that is enough to bring on change. Other times, I facilitate dialogue on the change you seek and help you have it with each other. Once you start talking to each other with honesty and openness, my job is done. Your motivation for the depth you want to go to, or where you want to get to, often determines the speed and the direction of the work we do.

How do the sessions work:

Session 1 - I work with both of you to understand the issues and struggles in the relationship.
Session 2 and 3- Individual session with both partners. These two sessions carry a ring of confidentiality around them and anything discussed with me in these sessions does not come back to the together session from me. These sessions are pivotal to increase understanding about you as individual.
Session 4 onwards- Ongoing couples counselling.

Benefits of Counselling

Communication

It helps you communicate with your partner and makes a huge impact on the relationship. Rather than talking to each other, you are able to listen to each other and address the underlying hurt. Ability to communicate helps the relationship move forward.

Finding Joy

As arguments recede, calmness emerges. This gives you time to think, to understand yourself, understand the circumstances and deal with them better. It helps you function better as a couple. It creates the platform for you both to find joy.

Happiness

If arguments subside and you start working towards common goals, you start to enjoy the time you spend with each other. This increases happiness in the relationship and benefits your physical and emotional health.

Better Intimacy

Intimacy in the relationship is often reflective of the relationship itself. As the relationship improves, physical and emotional intimacy emerges automatically. On some occasions, specific conversations around intimacy can also give it a nudge.

Security

Partners feel more secure in the relationship and start to make plans for the future.

Hope

To develop hope for the relationship and for the future you want to build. Lack of hope can sabotage the relationship and make it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

Gurpreet Singh

About Me

I have over 10 years of experience in Counselling. And many years of working with charities and mental health projects.

My journey began with a desire for self-exploration. I started to enjoy my work so much that I decided to train as a therapist. Working with addictions, anger, relationships, self-esteem, stress, and many other issues. I realised that I found this work very enriching and rewarding to my life. The more I did it, the more I enjoyed it. And the journey has carried on.

I come from an IT and Business Consultancy background and have retrained to become a therapist more than a decade ago. I am also a qualified Yoga teacher.

My style of working is conversational and my technique is integrative. This means that I draw upon different theories to inform my work. I let client needs and preferences determine the style of working rather than let the needs fit into a prescribed model. I join you in your journey of self exploration and you the sessions are tend interactive to be an interactive.

Read more about my profile.

I am a registered and accredited counsellor and psychotherapist with BACP (Registration number 101942) and abide by their code of ethics. I am also approved by various insurance companies like BUPA, AXA and others.

What Else I Can Help You With

Frequently Asked Questions

WHAT IS COUNSELLING

Counselling is a part of talking therapies. It provides you with a non-judgemental and confidential environment to explore what is going on for you as an individual or as a couple. You can talk about anything that you want to think through, process, explore or discuss with someone who is trained to listen and help you come up with solutions. I can help you build a framework to think through and process things but the best solutions are those that you develop yourself and have ownership for. I can help you do that.

HOW DOES COUNSELLING WORK

My objectivity is essential to the work. This ensures that my only interest remains in helping you arrive at your own solutions. We talk, we listen, we laugh, we connect and we explore. And we process the things that are upsetting you. I bring my training, my learning, my professional experience and life experience to help you think things through. I help you reframe things, normalise emotions, process feelings and understand yourself and each other better. Above all I help you overcome the hurdles that change arguments into healthy discussions. I find that as your relationship with yourself and each other improves, the relationship automatically improves and intimacy grows.

HOW LONG DOES COUNSELLING TAKE

I don’t get to determine that. You do. Factors influencing the length of time it will take is dependent on things like – the change you seek, your couple dynamic, how long you have been experiencing the problems, your motivation for change and others. As you progress through sessions, you start to experience the change and the impact that they have on your relationship. When the relationship starts to work again, usefulness of sessions starts to run out and we all know that the work is coming to an end. View the counselling process I adopt in my sessions.

WHAT EXPERIENCE DO YOU HAVE

I am a BACP Accredited counsellor and have over 9 years of experience. This means that I have done the training, have also passed through the criteria of the governing body to gain accreditation level and am experienced. I am also approved by insurance companies like BUPA and AXA for my work. You can verify my BACP Accreditation on their website.

WHAT KIND OF COUPLES DO YOU WORK WITH

I work with all kinds of couples. Straight, gay lesbian, open relationships, monogamous, etc. I have a particular interest in multi cultural relationships. They present a specific kind of challenge because the relationship differences are lost in cultural differences if not understood well.

WHAT IS YOUR SUCCESS RATE

I help clients explore their relationship and contribute in equal parts to making it work. I cannot collude with one person against the other but I can help you when both partners contribute to working towards making the relationship work. A vast majority stay together and tell me, when counselling is ending, that their relationship is in a better place than when they started. A tiny percentage part ways because that is what they both feel is right for them. That is very rare but does happen. My job is to help you understand each other. To stay together or not is a decision you make – not me!

ARE THE SESSIONS CONFIDENTIAL

I take confidentiality very seriously. Everything you discuss with me is confidential between us barring two things: 1) if you or someone else is at risk and 2) if I am required by law to break confidentiality. Other than that, it’s all confidential.