Is your family struggling to get along?
I can help your family in reducing arguments and having healthier relationships.
Feeling unloved or rejected by members of your family can lead to breakdown of communication and relationships. Arguments increase as frustration grows and this can in turn lead to angry and hurt feelings. The joy in the relationships is lost. This creates unhappiness and sadness in the relationship.
Constantly arguing can be exhausting. I can help you!
Families I work with
I work with all kind of families. This includes:
Parents and Adult Children
Multi generational families - Grandparents and/or Parents and/or Adult Children
Siblings and/or their Partners
If you are struggling to get along in a relationship that is important to you then I can help through family and relationship counselling.
How does Family Counselling work
I work with you to understand the background and the argument that you are having. Or the thing that makes you unhappy.
I try and separate the content from the process. What that means is that you might be arguing about the chores in the house, but the argument really might be about the unfairness you or someone else feels.
How you argue can also change the direction, speed and intensity of the argument. When other arguments are dragged into the present one and you forget to be kind to one another, the argument goes south. And it intensifies quite rapidly. On the other hand, when you dont drag other arguments into the present one and remember to not forget the love you share, the argument goes north and reduces in intensity. If might also get resolved.
I help you understand the root cause, the patterns and the dynamics. Sometimes, that is enough to bring on change. Other times, I facilitate dialogue on the change you seek and help you have it with each other. Once you start talking to each other with honesty and openness, my job is done. Your motivation for the depth you want to go to, or where you want to get to, often determines the speed and the direction of the work we do.
Argument cycles can be broken with arguments actually being resolved rather than following you to the next argument. Counselling can improve the quality of your relationships and your lives. And I can help you with that.
How the sessions are conducted.
Session 1: All participant
Session 2: Parents or all adults
Session 3: Children (if any)
Session 4 onwards: All participants or any subgroup that I feel may benefit from specific exploration.
Benefits of Family Counselling
It helps you communicate with each other makes a huge impact on the relationships. Rather than talking to each other, you are able to listen to each other and address the underlying hurt. Ability to communicate helps relationships move forward.
Boundaries is generally considered to be the line between what one person expects and the other person is able to do for them. Healthy boundaries are vital to relationships. To know them and respect them helps relationships function better.
Family dynamics that might have become unhelpful can be redefined with new understandings and desire to find common ground. This creates better interactions within the family and improves overall wellbeing for the whole family.
When a relationship is restored to being a healthy one, feelings of love and care return. This automatically creates the feeling of being secure and protected within the family group. This paves the way for closer and fulfilling relationships.
Through counselling, the roles and responsibilities of family members becomes open, transparent and better understood. Removal of misunderstandings and misinterpretations can lead to appreciation and respect.
Entrenchment in being right about things can often come at the cost of the blaming or finding fault in the other. This takes away from the joy that relationships can bring. Finding joy in your relationships is what family counselling is about.
I have over 10 years of experience in Counselling. And many years of working with charities and mental health projects.
My journey began with a desire for self-exploration. I started to enjoy my work so much that I decided to train as a therapist. Working with addictions, anger, relationships, self-esteem, stress, and many other issues. I realised that I found this work very enriching and rewarding to my life. The more I did it, the more I enjoyed it. And the journey has carried on.
I come from an IT and Business Consultancy background and have retrained to become a therapist more than a decade ago. I am also a qualified Yoga teacher.
My style of working is conversational and my technique is integrative. This means that I draw upon different theories to inform my work. I let client needs and preferences determine the style of working rather than let the needs fit into a prescribed model. I join you in your journey of self exploration and you the sessions are tend interactive to be an interactive.
I am a registered and accredited counsellor and psychotherapist with BACP (Registration number 101942) and abide by their code of ethics. I am also approved by various insurance companies like BUPA, AXA and others.
What Else I Can Help You With
Frequently Asked Questions
WHAT IS COUNSELLING
Counselling is a part of talking therapies. It provides you with a non-judgemental and confidential environment to explore what is going on for you as an individual or as a couple. You can talk about anything that you want to think through, process, explore or discuss with someone who is trained to listen and help you come up with solutions. I can help you build a framework to think through and process things but the best solutions are those that you develop yourself and have ownership for. I can help you do that.
HOW DOES COUNSELLING WORK
My objectivity is essential to the work. This ensures that my only interest remains in helping you arrive at your own solutions. We talk, we listen, we laugh, we connect and we explore. And we process the things that are upsetting you. I bring my training, my learning, my professional experience and life experience to help you think things through. I help you reframe things, normalise emotions, process feelings and understand yourself and each other better. Above all I help you overcome the hurdles that change arguments into healthy discussions. I find that as your relationship with yourself and each other improves, the relationship automatically improves and intimacy grows.
HOW LONG DOES COUNSELLING TAKE
I don’t get to determine that. You do. Factors influencing the length of time it will take is dependent on things like – the change you seek, your couple dynamic, how long you have been experiencing the problems, your motivation for change and others. As you progress through sessions, you start to experience the change and the impact that they have on your relationship. When the relationship starts to work again, usefulness of sessions starts to run out and we all know that the work is coming to an end. View the counselling process I adopt in my sessions.
WHAT EXPERIENCE DO YOU HAVE
I am a BACP Accredited counsellor and have over 9 years of experience. This means that I have done the training, have also passed through the criteria of the governing body to gain accreditation level and am experienced. I am also approved by insurance companies like BUPA and AXA for my work. You can verify my BACP Accreditation on their website.
WHAT KIND OF COUPLES DO YOU WORK WITH
I work with all kinds of couples. Straight, gay lesbian, open relationships, monogamous, etc. I have a particular interest in multi cultural relationships. They present a specific kind of challenge because the relationship differences are lost in cultural differences if not understood well.
WHAT IS YOUR SUCCESS RATE
I help clients explore their relationship and contribute in equal parts to making it work. I cannot collude with one person against the other but I can help you when both partners contribute to working towards making the relationship work. A vast majority stay together and tell me, when counselling is ending, that their relationship is in a better place than when they started. A tiny percentage part ways because that is what they both feel is right for them. That is very rare but does happen. My job is to help you understand each other. To stay together or not is a decision you make – not me!
ARE THE SESSIONS CONFIDENTIAL
I take confidentiality very seriously. Everything you discuss with me is confidential between us barring two things: 1) if you or someone else is at risk and 2) if I am required by law to break confidentiality. Other than that, it’s all confidential.