Anger is probably one of the most helpful emotions if you can understand it and learn to work with it.
Anger is a physical and/or emotional response to a real or perceived threat. The first thing you need to understand about anger is that it is a response system. It is often physical in nature because it activates the flight, fight or freeze response in your body. But it can also be an emotional one as the mind races to rectify the thing that is making you angry.
Most people don’t know their relationship with anger and are sometimes controlled by their anger or live in fear of it. I tend to meet people with different relationships with anger:
- Those who don’t think they have any anger
- Those who have a lot of it and carry it around like a chip on their shoulder using it freely as a means of communication
- Those who know they have anger but don’t know how to manage it and have an unhealthy relationship with it
- Those who know they have anger and are often able to use it to understand themselves and channel if for positive change
It can also be something else.
Anger Management begins with understanding your anger. You cannot manage what you cannot understand and therefore anger must be understood first.
Anger Management needs to be applied in three different stages
- the immediacy of things and how to calm yourself in the situation
- the short-term strategy in dealing with the anger
- the long-term strategy in how to align yourself with life values
I work with clients on anger management issues in my practice in counselling sessions in Central London, Hampton or on Zoom.